The Help Thread. Who Needs a Hug?

Discussion in 'Aqua Polis Square' started by Crim, Aug 12, 2014.

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  1. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    So with Robin Williams' passing, I have been reminded once again how dangerous depression and sadness can be. So I was encouraged to start this thread.

    I know there is several people here that have these issues, and I want you to know you're not alone. And I would like to invite anyone who is interested into a private help group conversation. The conversation will be an outlet where you can go when you're feeling down. It will be confidential, so anyone who joins remember that the conversation stays there unless someone sounds like they pose a threat to someone or themself. Then I may need contact someone...

    If anyone wants to be a part of this, message here or private message me for an invite. There will be more rules I will post later. But I just wanted to get this started.

    Also, this is non professional support group. If you are thinking of killing yourself, please please please contact a professional. There are many free options to get help. If you want help finding those resources, please message me and I can help you find help. Or use 211 (United Way) to find the best resources for you. Or get some instant help @ www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org where they have hotlines to call or online chat along with information that may help you. (Sorry that my resources may be US only, but the online chat should be available to anyone in the world)

    As for this thread:

    So that is the reason the thread was created. But CalmChaos pointed out that this thread can be used for many reasons to help with people's emotional issues. Here is the list of his examples:
    • Bullying
    • Identity issues
    • Family & Relationship issues
    • Self-image & Self-worth issues
    • Drug/Alcohol use & abuse concerns
    • The "What should I do with my life?" predicament
    • The pressure to be good at everything
    That of course are just some reasons you might need help, but this is a non exclusion thread. Anything about anything is welcome here from anyone and everyone. If you are having problems, whether you want help or just wish to vent, you may use this thread. Expect people to comment and respond. Hopefully those responses will be within the rules of the thread (Will list at the end). If you dont wish to post so publicly, you may ask here or message me to join the help conversation or I am always willing to hear what is troubling you. I am not licensed to analyze anyone, I just want to be that friend that is there for when you need them.


    Rules: (Serious consiquences for breaking these rules)

    • This is a bully free zone. Anyone teasing or bullying will risk being suspended or banned from the entire forum. This is a safe zone and it will NOT be tolerated. You may not receive a warning on your first offense.
    • No Spam. This thread is for helping people with issues. Keep funny images or videos in other threads. We have a lot of places to make people smile and laugh and be random. This isnt one of those threads.
    • No derailing. If you are not posting an issue you are having, and are replying to another person's post, keep it on topic.
    • Be respectful. This goes along with the no bullying rule. If anyone finds the strength to bring their real life issues public, we dont need people being rude. No telling people to "Man up" or that their issue is "dumb." This is a safe zone and it will NOT be tolerated. You may not receive a warning on your first offense.
    • (More rules will be added as needed, when I add them I will post that the rules have been updated)
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2014
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  2. Raleigh

    Raleigh Active Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    This post may be misguided, but I want to post it anyway.

    When I was younger, I was diagnosed with OCD, which lead to what was thought to be depression by the psychologist I was frequenting. Since I was never officially diagnosed, I don't want to come off as someone who pretends or things that they understand what it's like to be depressed. However, I was prescribed medication to combat the repetitive thoughts (OCD) that led to my loss of motivation, hunger, and general happiness when I was in elementary school. OCD, for those who have it, does lead to depression symptoms frequently.

    I was put on medication to combat this. Not happy pills, but SSRIs designed to combat depression symptoms as well as to help against the repetitive thoughts associated with OCD. For example, compulsions like doing so many pushups before bed or having so many cups of water every day stopped being mandatory in my mind, and I felt like I was in control of my mind for the first time. I became much happier, starting in 4th grade, and was able to relax in my own body, and fall asleep much more easily.

    Although therapy may work for some, always keep in mind that issues with brain chemistry often associated with OCD or depression can be aided by medication. I had used Prozac, which is easy to get a prescription for and is very effective - a tried-and-true anti-depressant drug. Also Fluoxetine . If you think you may need medication, ask about these at your physician. Really, medication changed my life, and I hope it can help others as well.
    calmchaos likes this.
  3. calmchaos

    calmchaos Moderator Staff Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    If you would change this thread to a general help thread with an emphasis on depression, we could just go ahead and sticky it. I believe this does need to be stickied, but depression is just one of the many problems that our users face. Let me list off a few that I really think should also be addressed here:
    • Bullying
    • Identity issues
    • Family & Relationship issues
    • Self-image & Self-worth issues
    • Drug/Alcohol use & abuse concerns
    • The "What should I do with my life?" predicament
    • The pressure to be good at everything
    All of these can, and usually do, lead to depression, so I believe they deserve a mention. Some people may be on the road to depression without realizing it. Having a list of concerns and issues that they can freely discuss with someone in private would really help to prevent them from making it that far.

    Of course, a licensed physician is always best, but sometimes it's quite a bit easier to talk to someone you feel you can trust more easily. I am 100% for this thread.
    Brijesha, Oberon and Crim like this.
  4. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Love that idea. I'll have to rewrite and retitle the thread when I get home from work.

    But Ya, the thread will be a general help thread for all those issues CC listed above. And of anyone needs to talk in private about anything they can talk to me, or request to be added to the group private conversation.

    I don't know why we haven't started this thread before now. I guess like all things in life, change usually only happens after someone dies and only then do we see the dangers.
    calmchaos likes this.
  5. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    CC, please review the OP and tell me if there is anything you wish to add. Also, if someone thinks of a more clever name for the thread, please let me know.

    As for those who might be scared to try out this thread, I will start. (I guess Raleigh kind of already did) But I get depressed. I dont know why, but I will be as high as a kite, happiest person around. Then Crash. Im down. I feel useless, unwanted, and my brain makes assumptions of how people think of me. This has led to me losing a lot of friends, but now that I am more aware of this issue I prepare my friends. I have warned all my closest friends. Tell them that its just the selfish part of me wanting attention. It's been suggested that it could be seasonal depression, but I think that was debunked when I noticed it happens year round and could happen any day or any time. Like today! I started the day happy as hell. Something happened and I've been thinking a lot about my mortality. Wondering the whats and whys to life. Now, I have never been suicidal, and dont consider myself in any danger of taking my life. But it does still scare me when I am thinking like this. I wish I knew the cause, and found a drug free way to control it. This may come out funny, but I have noticed myself being gassy a lot of the times I get down, but not all. Leading me to wonder if the gas could be causing it, or maybe the gas could be from the mental stress.

    That is just one of my issues. Thought I would post it just to show people how they can share their issues. Feel free to respond to it if you have any constructive input. Or you can reply with showing your support by saying you have similar feelings or thoughts. I just want everyone to see they arent alone. They can talk about these things freely and there is likely someone who can relate either directly or indirectly through other friends/family.
  6. Stalwart_as_the_Mount

    Stalwart_as_the_Mount Senior Member Senior Member Indiegogo Backer

    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    I posted Earlier this summer that I got broken up with. Well I've been feeling bad about it and still don't really understand what happened. We'd been going out for over 3 years and I thought everything was going good, she was talking about getting married even. Then she went away to camp and after about a couple weeks she just outta the blue said she wanted to break up. at first she told me I wasn't fun any more then told me there was someone else. Later when I actually talked to her, face to face, she said she didn't love me anymore. Well now I have a hard time sleeping because I dream about her I feel like i can't do a bunch of cause I feel sick when thinking about how we used to do that together. I'm not sure I can even play Zelda because she always wanted me to play it.

    Well Thanks for reading and listening I probably just need to talk

    Crim, I think I've gone through the same kind of stuff like I'll be having fun in a group then suddenly I'll just feel left out and sad like I'm not included and no one likes me.
  7. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Ouch. Sorry to hear about the relationship issue. The mind can really be annoying sometimes. Sometimes it just won't stop thinking when it's time for sleep. And with you it just won't stop thinking of hurtful memories. If u ever need to chat, let me know. I have some advice on the sleeping thing. There is several non narcotic sleep aids you should try. Let me know if you're interested in those or have tried them already.
  8. calmchaos

    calmchaos Moderator Staff Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    The op looks good to me.

    In reference to Stalwart, it may have something to do with how much time you spent thinking about her. Each day, we spend some time thinking about everything important to us. Sometimes we do it consciously, but other times we do it unconsciously. We also each spend different amounts of that thinking time than others. I think that you spent quite a lot of time thinking about her, so you just aren't used to not thinking about her. It's basically a habit. Since this is a painful habit, I can only suggest that you find someone or something else to think about.
    Whenever those memories start surfacing, you can start doing math in your head, or whatever else you might come up with. This might be a good plan for the short term, until it isn't as painful anymore. However, in the long run, you're going to have to deal with the hurt you feel. You cannot and should not try to run from it forever. My suggestion is that, when you feel up to it, you need to find someone to hash out these feelings with. How often you hash it out is completely up to you, but you should continue to talk about them until you feel that weight lifted off your shoulders. I know it isn't easy right now (it might never be easy), but you can get through this.
    Gwidhw and Crim like this.
  9. Gwidhw

    Gwidhw Well-Known Member Senior Member Indiegogo Backer

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    I've mentioned this before in another thread, but I have depression.
    Like you, Crim, I can be perfectly fine, but then out of nowhere I start feeling funny, followed by nausea, and then eventually I just slow down until I'm completely shut down. It's even to the point where if I want to speak, I just can't bring myself to do it. Then the feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness start to kick in. I find keeping my mind occupied and doing little things for myself that make me happy helps to fight it off, but I usually end up succumbing to it in the end. Though, sometimes, I feel it just vanish. Such as, I'll go to sleep, wake up, and be like "Yeah... I'm better". Other times, I'll go to sleep feeling fine, and the next morning I'll just know that it's not going to be a good day for me. I feel it very much so physically, as I do mentally.

    I've been there. I was with the same girl throughout my high school years, and we talked about marriage. Whenever I would get depressed, she would hold onto me and stay with me until it calmed, subsided, or I felt completely better. We were basically inseparable, and would do almost everything together. Then, one day, in our final year, she told me that she wanted to see what it was like with other people (I was her first relationship). So we broke it off. Then after about 2 days, she begged for me back, and of course I accepted. I loved her with all my heart. A month or two passes, and she brings up the subject again, so this time, I broke it off with her, and that lasted about a week before she came crying back to me after school, and of course, again, I couldn't refuse her. I loved her way too much for that. Another 3-4 months passed, and finally, while at a school performance, I felt the need to ask her if she was "in love with" me, to which she quietly said "I don't know". I almost vomited like you wouldn't believe. After some recollection and emotional outburst, I eventually did what I thought was the most awful thing I could do, but the only way to kill the cycle and help me cope. I made her hate me... that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Simple sentences of "she was the reason I was upset", and "I'm so happy now that I'm 'free'"; next thing I know she texts me obscene words, and I know that my heart is broken, but she is free from me.

    It's been about 5 years now..? Something like that. Sometimes I still dream about her and her wanting me back, and I've been through 3 relationships between her and now. She was perfect for me back then, and I honestly don't think anyone can compare, but I'm trying. I'll admit, I wanted to "end it all" after what I did, and even during our tumultuous break up, but I was diverted in doing so due to counselling and support. That is key to problems like that. I no longer have those intentions, as I feel like it isn't a viable solution to any problem anymore, and would never condone it.

    There's always a positive, viable, risk-free solution; most of the time all it takes is a hug from someone who cares.
    But I can honestly say that I'm over her now, I don't think about her on a daily basis, really, but she was honestly the highlight of my life thus far. We never talk anymore, we never see each other, and I'm sure we never will after what I did to her. But that's for the best, for her sake.

    My point is, you'll get over her, move on, and find someone else. Even if you don't, you can still be happy as long as you do right by you. Think of it as an opportunity to find someone else that you might want to pursue, or some other avenue you couldn't go down during that relationship. You'll bounce back; everyone does :)

    I only had a hard time because of my depression.
    And within a year and a half from that breakup, I was in another relationship with someone who's still close to me, but it didn't work out. Worst case scenario? You make a good support group of friends that you can count on.

    As always, if anyone else has issues with depression, I'm more than happy to chat.
    You can find me on Skype; the name is the same as my forum name! :)

    OH, and count me in for the private group convo!!!
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
  10. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    I had a gf break up with me. About a month later she begs for me to take her back. I stood tall and said no. Loneliness crept in and I took her back. It didn't take long for her to take advantage of that and start playing games. I walked away and she text me Wtf I was doing. I said this isn't going to work and I ended it. She tried rekindling the friendship years later, but I found that to be just as one sided sho I let that die too.
  11. Brijesha

    Brijesha Teller of Seasons Senior Member

    Local Time:
    3:15 PM
    Robin Williams tem me um pouco rasgado. Como ele, eu sou um pouco de um excêntrico que gosta de fazer os outros rir. Eu sou bastante bom nisso, eu sou relativamente saudável com o meu humor e assim por diante. Outra semelhança que tenho com o fim de grande comediante é um problema de abuso de substâncias e depressão (não diagnosticada). Eu não tenho sido tão ruim com os meus pensamentos e os meus hábitos em poucos meses se passaram, mas eu estive em mínimos graves algumas vezes na minha vida.

    Para ser honesto, uma das únicas razões que eu ainda estou vivo hoje é porque eu ainda tenho que tentar ser um sucesso humanitária. Talvez, se eu fiz bem o suficiente no mundo, ajudou meu companheiro de homem e fiz a minha parte para aliviar a condição humana, eu também podia morrer em paz sabendo que fiz a coisa certa. Estranhamente, eu tenho certeza que se eu realizei esse tipo de tarefa antes do meu fim natural, a minha morte viria por minha própria mão muito antes do que esperava- à semelhança do Robin Williams. Talvez ele se sentia direito e realizado o suficiente para fazer o que ele fez? Se eu fosse ele, eu me sentiria satisfeito, mas que mais uma vez eu não sou um pai. Eu não sei o que seria como para contemplar o suicídio, enquanto nessa posição na vida.

    De qualquer forma, eu não tenho certeza o que mais há para mim dizer ...
    Se você se interessa naturalmente com tendências suicidas, o meu conselho é ficar longe de coisas que nevoeiro sua mente.
    Nada chegou mais perto de mim do que matar a insônia ... e eu estive lá muitas vezes para contar.
    Dada a minha situação na vida agora, acho que o melhor lugar para eu morrer seria a minha lavanderia ...

    Eu teria feito todas as tarefas em minha casa, tomei banho, e então eu fiz o meu caminho para o meu quarto no porão. Não que eu arregaçar uma luz comum e antes que eu passou a tomar o meu comprimido recipiente cheio de 'velocidade'. Normalmente, quando se trata de fazer uma limpeza completa da minha casa, eu ia levar um par de comprimidos ao longo do dia, mas no dia do meu suicídio que eu gostaria de ter a mente clara (para a maior parte do dia de qualquer maneira, Eu não moro sozinho, então quando fazer as tarefas e lidar com as posses de outras pessoas uma última vez, eu não quero ser demasiado errática). Neste ponto, eu estalar um par de comprimidos, tem um pouco de água, pegar meus cigarros e ir para uma caminhada. A manhã da queda seria o ideal, entre as horas de 4 - 6 que eu veria os pontos turísticos da cidade que eu sempre soube, ou de bicicleta para um local na cidade sobre onde eu costumava ir com alguns amigos. De lá você pode ver a metrópole ilha de Montreal do outro lado do rio St. Lawrence (seu bem). Quando cheguei em casa, e de volta para o porão ... talvez uma última articulação. Afora isso, eu não quero perder mais tempo e continuar com a minha ação no balanço do dia .. Não muito tempo depois do meu conjunto e em uma casa limpa, eu me enforcar na lavanderia. O último lugar que minhas tarefas me levaria.

    * suspiro * Eu desejo Robin Williams ainda estava vivo. Passei grande parte da minha infância na frente de uma televisão ... Ele passou muito de sua vida na televisão. Enquanto o relacionamento era bastante unilateral, Robin Williams ainda, sem dúvida, me levantou quando meus pais eram incapazes e / ou não conseguiram fazê-lo. É estranho ... Eu não falei com meus pais em um par de anos agora, e quando eles morrem Eu não acho que eu vou estar muito abalada. Enquanto eles são humanos, e eu aprecio tudo o que podiam fazer por mim (o que não era muito, mas apreciado no entanto), eu não me vejo sofrendo e / ou luto intensamente .. No entanto, quando Robin Williams faleceu, eu não poderia 't deixar de chorar e me pergunto como vamos fazê-lo. Eu não sou a única pessoa que ele tinha como um pai substituto e amigo, o mundo tinha-lhe assim ...

    A vida é apenas fodido agora ...
    Eu vou para a cama, mas obrigado por ler ...

    (OH! Por cama e eu quero dizer sono ... O tipo temporário, e não o eterno que é. Estou um pouco triste agora, mas não se apoquente Iridiumians .. Para melhor ou para pior, eu ainda vou estar aqui amanhã .. e eu espero que você seja também.)

    NOTA ADICIONADO: Seu tipo de bobagem, mas um filme de anime que me ajudou a superar a depressão eo suicídio é na minha assinatura. Seu chamado Mind Game. Eu recomendo fortemente vê-lo, visto que você está aqui lendo isso agora.


    Last edited: Aug 18, 2014
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  12. Brijesha

    Brijesha Teller of Seasons Senior Member

    Local Time:
    3:15 PM
    Robin Williams and Why Funny People Kill Themselves
    By David Wong August 11, 2014

    You ever have that funny friend, the class-clown type, who one day just stopped being funny around you? Did it make you think they were depressed? Because it's far more likely that, in reality, that was the first time they were comfortable enough around you to drop the act.

    The ones who kill themselves, well, they're funny right up to the end.

    By now you know that Robin Williams has committed suicide, but I'm not here to talk about him. He's gone, and you're still here, and suicidal thoughts are so common among our readers and writers that our message board has a hidden section where moderators can coordinate responses to suicide threats. And in case you're wondering, no, that's not a joke -- I remember the first time John tracked down a guy's location and got an ambulance dispatched to his house. Then we all sat there, at 4 in the morning, waiting to hear if they got there in time (they did).

    Because Cracked is driven by an army of aspiring comedy writer freelancers, the message boards are full of a certain personality type. And while I don't know what percentage of funny people suffer from depression, from a rough survey of the ones I know and work with, I'd say it's approximately "all of them." So when I hear some naive soul say, "Wow, how could a wacky guy like [insert famous dead comedian here] just [insert method of early self-destruction here]? He was always joking around and having a great time!" my only response is a blank stare.

    That's honestly the equivalent of "How can that cow be dead? She had to be healthy, because these hamburgers we made from her are delicious!"

    [​IMG]
    In lieu of comedy in this piece, please accept these humorous animated gifs.

    So I don't know Robin Williams' situation, and I don't need to -- I can go scoop up an armload of examples without leaving my chair. As one of the head guys at Cracked, I'm surrounded by literally hundreds of comedy writers, and I inhabit the body of one. Kristi Harrison recently wrote about the psychological dark side of being funny, and was speaking from experience. Or, here's John Cheese talking about his recent adventures on antidepressants. Here's Mark Hill on his depression, here's Dan O'Brien on his social anxiety, here's Tom Reimann on his, and here's C. Coville on the same. Here's Mara Wilson on having an anxiety disorder, here's Felix Clay on regret, here's Gladstone on emotional trauma, and Adam Brown on almost dying from cough syrup addiction. Those are just the ones off the top of my head. You get the idea.

    Now do you want me to tell you how many messages/comments/emails we get from fans telling a writer to "kill yourself" because said writer wrote a joke they didn't like? When I ban them, they always act confused as to why.

    [​IMG]

    "What, you're saying Cracked writers are a bunch of tortured literary geniuses? You write boner jokes in list form, for Christ's sake!"

    Yeah, and Chris Farley just made wacky slapstick movies about a fat guy who falls down a lot, right up until he stopped his own heart with a drug cocktail. The medium has nothing to do with it -- comedy, of any sort, is usually a byproduct of a tumor that grows on the human soul. If you know a really funny person who isn't tortured and broken inside, I'd say A) they've just successfully hidden it from you, B) their fucked-uppedness is buried so deep down that even they're in denial about it, or C) they're just some kind of a mystical creature I can't begin to understand. I'm not saying anything science doesn't already know, by the way. Find a comedian, and you'll usually find somebody who had a shitty childhood.

    [​IMG]

    Here's how it works for most of us, as far as I can tell. I'll even put it in list form, because who gives a fudge at this point:

    1. At an early age, you start hating yourself. Often it's because you were abused, or just grew up in a broken home, or were rejected socially, or maybe you were just weird or fat or ... whatever. You're not like the other kids, the other kids don't seem to like you, and you can usually detect that by age 5 or so.

    2. At some point, usually at a very young age, you did something that got a laugh from the room. You made a joke or fell down or farted, and you realized for the first time that you could get a positive reaction that way. Not genuine love or affection, mind you, just a reaction -- one that is a step up from hatred and a thousand steps up from invisibility. One you could control.

    3. You soon learned that being funny builds a perfect, impenetrable wall around you -- a buffer that keeps anyone from getting too close and realizing how much you suck. The more you hate yourself, the stronger you need to make the barrier and the further you have to push people away. In other words, the better you have to be at comedy.

    4. In your formative years, you wind up creating a second, false you -- a clown that can go out and represent you, outside the barrier. The clown is always joking, always "on," always drawing all of the attention in order to prevent anyone from poking away at the barrier and finding the real person behind it. The clown is the life of the party, the classroom joker, the guy up on stage -- as different from the "real" you as possible. Again, the goal is to create distance.

    You do it because if people hate the clown, who cares? That's not the real you. So you're protected.

    But the side effect is that if people love the clown ... well, you know the truth. You know how different it'd be if they met the real you.

    [​IMG]

    I get a dozen messages a week from people telling me they love me, I get a few a month from people saying they want to meet me in person. You know, kind of like how they watch an episode of The Walking Dead and decide they want to live in a zombie apocalypse. Trust me, kid, you wouldn't like it.

    But there's more. The jokes that keep the crowd happy -- and keep the people around you at bay -- come from inside you, and are dug painfully out of your own guts. You expose and examine your own insecurities, flaws, fears -- all of that stuff makes the best fuel. So, Robin Williams joked about addiction -- you know, the same addiction that pretty much killed him. Chris Farley's whole act was based on how fat he was -- the thing that had tortured and humiliated him since childhood. So think of my clown analogy above, only imagine the clown feeds on your blood.

    (Jesus, that's going to give me nightmares, and I have a side job writing horror.)

    I keep mentioning Chris Farley for a reason -- in the end, he was so alone that he was hiring prostitutes just to hang out with him. Here's an account of how his last days played out:

    "Farley partied for four straight days, smoked crack and snorted heroin with a call girl, then took her back to his apartment. When they argued about money, she got up to leave. He tried to follow but collapsed on the living room floor, struggling to breathe. His final words were 'Don't leave me.' She took pictures of him, stole his watch, wrote a note saying she'd had a lot of fun, and left. He died alone."

    In this case, the clown was a hilarious fat guy playing a Beverly Hills Ninja. Back behind the wall, the real person was a scared, lonely, awkward fat kid who couldn't even pay someone to hold his hand when he died. "Don't leave me."

    So, yeah, if you're out there and are feeling down, here's the national suicide hotline. I've been told it's great, by the numerous people I know who've called it. But I guess my larger point is that if you know somebody who might be at risk but you've been denying it because they're always smiling and joking around, for the love of God, wake the fudge up. They don't know how to ask for help because they don't know how to relate, because when you've lived behind that wall long enough, you completely lose the ability. "Well, I tried to help him, but he was kind of a male reproduction organ about it." Right, that's what it looks like. "But I don't know how to do a suicide intervention!" Nobody is asking you to. How about this:

    Be there when they need you, and keep being there even when they stop being funny. Every time they make a joke around you, they're doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that's what they need to do to make you like them. They're afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that's left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground, the one they've been hiding behind bricks all their adult life. If they come to you wanting to have a boring-butt conversation about their problems, don't drop hints that you wish they'd "lighten up." It's really easy to hear that as "Man, what happened to the clown? I liked him better."

    As for me, I haven't thought about suicide in a long time, not since high school, when a guy talked me out of it, though to this day I doubt he realizes it. So, I lived on to wind up with a job where one of my tasks is to ban people who follow him from one comment section to another telling him he's not funny and should kill himself. Is that ... irony? Shit, I don't think English has a word for what that is.

    Anyway. Rest in peace, Robin. You've given us a chance to talk about this, and to prove that this has nothing to do with life circumstances -- you were rich and accomplished and respected and beloved by friends and family, and in the end it meant jack fudging shit.

    [​IMG]
    MediaNews Group

    -David Wong
    Doesn't Remember His Job Title but It Probably Has the Word Editor in It
    Cracked.com
    NYT Bestselling Author of This Book is Full of Spiders
    Silaan, Gwidhw, Cerberuspaw and 2 others like this.
  13. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    That. Was. A beautiful piece. I feel like I know more about myself now even though I think I knew these things, but either denied that was me or just didn't understand it.

    But this article did make me remember that Robin Williams has played the clown character outlined above in the movie Death to Smootchy. Where he played an ousted children's show host called Rainbow Randoff (like captain kangaroo like character).

    And lastly, I'm so glad I haven't decided on how I'd kill myself. I would be scared that if I found a way that I find acceptable, I don't see much in the way of me going through with it. Brijesha, that is just scary that you have your final day so planned out and detailed. Please have the courage to talk to someone if you ever start down that road. I'm always here for anyone here. I'm a clown that does anything for attention, I completely understand many of thefeelings listed in that story above, so I feel I could relate if u need someone. And I feel I'm good with advice and playing devil's advocate, though I never seem to take my own advice and make many mistakes doing the opposite.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2014
    Gwidhw, Brijesha and calmchaos like this.
  14. Gwidhw

    Gwidhw Well-Known Member Senior Member Indiegogo Backer

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    I know where you're coming from, and I'm not just saying it.
    If you ever want to talk, vent feelings, or whatever, I'll be here for you to talk to as well as Crim and the others.

    One of the main hurdles for my depression is the fact that I don't have anyone to talk to about it, and have to talk with myself. Actually, I've made a habit of dissociating and having conversations with myself as if I was another person, just to get me through the tough times and help me cope a little better. It's like having an imaginary friend, that I know is all in my head, but I can still talk with about things and get advice from (I make a point of being as objective as possible with myself). It's worked thus far, fairly well actually. The problem is worsened when I don't use this technique, and try to speak with someone close to me that I think wants to help, and they back off or ignore the fact that there is something genuinely wrong.

    A support network is the best thing anyone can have, even if you don't know the person very well. If the intentions are good, it makes a world of difference if they stick around to be there for you.

    For instance, last week, I was horribly depressed and trying to fight through it. So, I asked my closest friend (whom I speak to on a daily basis through Steam) to simply keep me engaged, and don't let me "slip". Just talk to me, play a game with me, converse, anything to keep me occupied and draw my mind off it. So guess what he did? He played a game, that he'd beaten numerous times, for 5+ hours, 4 days in a row, leaving me to decline and feel awful that he was ignoring me, when I really needed him. I told him that I was crashing and needed distraction, and that I felt like I was suffocating, and how crippling it was for me. I told him that he just needed to talk to me, about anything, and just converse like usual so that I wouldn't crash. I told him the cues that were very obvious that it was happening, such as "if I get really quiet all of a sudden..." and "I'm feeling really, really off right now..." and "I feel it coming on... please keep me engaged". But, he left me to succumb to it... And what did he say to me when he'd finished playing? "...Well, it's bed time". Then he took off for the weekend, without even a "I hope you feel better", or "Sorry you're not well, but I'll talk to you when I get back!" or "Email me if you want to talk", or, well, anything. No, he went off and had fun, knowing that I was (metaphorically) dying inside. That hurts.

    So what did I do? Well, I spent time with other friends, people that perhaps I neglect more than I should, and they were able to distract me, lift me back up, and help me get through it. Supposedly he's back, as he said he would be by now, but I feel as though he's ignoring me; perhaps because he thinks I'm mad at him, which I sort of am. Or maybe he just wants to play that damned game again... I do so much for him, but he does almost nothing for me. That was honestly the last straw, though, because I'm done with doing for people who neglect me. Needless to say, I won't rely on him from now on. Obviously I can't...

    My point of telling this is that there are people, perhaps who aren't that close to you, or that friendly with you, or that obviously available to console you, that can and want to help you, even when those really close to you don't/won't/aren't able to.

    If you ever need to talk, I'm here.
    Add me to Skype if you want as well; it's the same name as my forum name.

    I believe that for all the good in the world there is an equivalent amount of bad. For every positive day, a negative one soon follows. I believe that there is an equilibrium to the world, and everything balances out.

    For every lonely, depressed, crippling, isolating moment, there's one filled with love, comfort, and calm.
    Even if you don't see it now, just know you have it coming to you.

    EDIT: As for myself having a planned way "out"..? Well, I used to have one, back in high school, when I felt strongly about wanting to "get out". But my mindset has changed, and somewhere along the road I changed. Now I feel as though I'm not allowed to go anywhere yet, because there's a purpose I'm here for, as hard as it can be to believe. When my day comes, it will come without warning. To create that day myself would be cheating, and I may miss that purpose I've been waiting for. Whatever it is, I don't know. I do know that I'll recognize it when I see it, whatever it is; however small or large that it may be.
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2014
    Brijesha likes this.
  15. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    I think u learned last night that I can keep u engaged and distracted. That was a really funny discussion. And all of you missed it :p.

    To be more on topic. I have run into a lot of those selfish people. Somehow they don't see that they did anything wrong. And if u tell them that they are being a male reproduction organ, then they just turn it around on you like it's your fault. I hate dealing with people who don't seem to care about your existence while u care so much about them and everyone else.
    Gwidhw likes this.
  16. Gwidhw

    Gwidhw Well-Known Member Senior Member Indiegogo Backer

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Yes, it was quite the discussion :) Thanks for that!
    ALL IDEAS ARE BELONG TO US O.O

    On-topic:
    I'm just one of those people that has so much love to give, but feels as though I don't get any. For all intents and purposes, I have love for him too, as he's my closest friend, and to be hurt by someone that close to you.. well..

    Like, there's this convention we're both going to, soon... he's really excited about it, and so I don't want to be a buzz-kill and tell him I don't think it looks good this year, and that I don't want to go, regardless that I already paid for it... For what it's worth, I'm just not that into it anymore, and, well... it'd upset him, I think, to tell him. If it was a necessity to do so, I would, but it's a paid-for event, and he's excited, so I feel good about going with him so that he can still go, and not alone. But this is the kind of thing that gets me down.. I go to things that I may not want to go to, or do things I might not want to, or watch/look at things I might not want to because I'm busy at that moment, or whatever, because he wants me to and it isn't that big a deal. But, I feel it's not reciprocated... this is the case for almost all of my friends except my neighbour/childhood friend... he's always getting me doing stuff, and he's great, but he's going to Germany for a year soon, so... yeah -.- He's practically out of the picture, leaving me with friends that I neglect because they don't reciprocate what I give, and a close friend who doesn't reciprocate but I can't help but do for... at least, it feels like he doesn't... I honestly can't tell if he cares or not :/

    It's a mess, to say the least.

    A situation like this can really make someone feel worthless; when you put in and get nothing back.
    Not even the thought that I'm doing the right thing, or "paying it forward", or whatever, helps completely, anymore.

    I really just want some love back once in a while :(
    I'd make a stale joke about Mastercard and things being "priceless", but, it's almost inappropriate considering xD
  17. Stalwart_as_the_Mount

    Stalwart_as_the_Mount Senior Member Senior Member Indiegogo Backer

    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Hey guys I've probably read through everyone's replies 3 or 4 times and its helping. I'll probably read through it again If I feel bad again. I'm going to add people on Skype, mine is matthew.martin2012 feel free to add me you can always talk to me about any thing.
    Gwidhw likes this.
  18. Gwidhw

    Gwidhw Well-Known Member Senior Member Indiegogo Backer

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Does anyone else ever get the feeling of "suffocating"?
    Where you almost can't breath? It's like anxiety, or a panic attack, but for no particular reason?

    I'm feeling it now... but it comes and goes. Pretty stable at the moment, unlike a minute or two ago...
    How do you guys cope with stuff like this (if you do know what I'm talking about)?

    I try to distract myself with something as a go-to, but this makes my mind go a million miles a minute, so it's hard...
    Breathing exercises seem to help me, but can sometimes lead to a crash.

    I should mention that I don't often have anxiety attacks or anything at all; it's very rare, and only on an off-chance when I'm fighting a depression phase. I should also mention that I'm not diagnosed officially, because I fear going onto medication and never being able to get off of it. As well, I know too many stories about side effects that seem like it wouldn't be worth the trouble. That, and I don't want to be a guinea pig of the DSM p.p

    I also think if I got diagnosed on paper, that would make it harder for me to cope psychologically.

    I can also keep it fairly under control, and non life-threatening, so I don't see a need to get medication.
    A sleep aid would be nice once in a while... although sometimes I wake up numerous times during the night, sometimes I can't sleep at all, and other times I sleep too much...

    I'm rambling now. I'll stop.
    But, yeah... anyone have any tips/suggestions/practices that help them with their issues?
  19. snakebyte12

    snakebyte12 Senior Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    I am back into depression yet again and often hide myself in my room playing games or online until recently due to my internet failing cutting me off nearly completely with the entire world. i first became depressed 6.5 years ago after being in foster care where i got stolen from, beaten, and neglected even there. even after i had gotten back home still wasn't fine due to all the pressure of merely going to school back then without any friends. now i don't worry about classes so much even though i still don't have any friends their but home isn't much better either. due to aggravation of being nearly murdered in school upon multiple occasions i finally had flipped on quite the few people but never hurt them along with multiple rumors of me actually hurting them, i had been kicked out of my third school. none of my schools i even had friends at anyways so i didn't really care but sending me to a mental hospital over mere rumors with no evidence whatsoever to make a sufficient claim is going way to far. although, i was suicidal, but never made sure open claims about it. then there was being neglected and starved at home to look forward to, still now... yaaayy... -_- and all those relationships that had become so complicated... my disorders didn't help either. i have an unnamed mood disorder making me 60x more sensative emotionally than most people, depressive disorder, and anxiety disorder. wort part was getting treated as a test subject for every disability known to man by the school so they could get extra funding and the doctors never found anything until they had already kicked me out, and when they finally gave me meds, they didn't work. severe anxiety attacks had become a constant thing at one point. now they had settled down... there is more, but im just rambling on here... sorry...
  20. Crim

    Crim Guest

    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Oh snake. I wish u could understand that you have people who love and care about you. You're not as alone as u think you are. Hang in there. You'll be ok in time. Try to find some positives to get you through the days.
    Brijesha likes this.

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