Global Domination

Discussion in 'Events' started by Illuminati, Mar 5, 2015.


Will you obey the Illuminati?

  1. Yes!

  2. Praise be to the glory of the eyeball!

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  1. Illuminati

    Illuminati New Member

    Local Time:
    8:50 PM
    Hello, dear friends! We would like to take this chance to invite selected members to join the coming movement and bring forth advancement to all mankind for the betterment of humanity. Our goal is simple, creating a New World Order that governs all life into true enlightenment. Naturally, to bring about this revelation many changes are scheduled to occur all around the globe. We are a secret society which is why you will find our symbols all throughout your culture - even in your music videos. Naturally we value our secrecy, and our intent is to be as subtle as possible by drilling it into your skull that we are unstoppable and control everything and everyone, reminding you how absolutely powerless you are to stop us. That is, of course, unless you embrace us, and love us unconditionally while we condition you to love us through the media - which we own because we own the banks that own your nations that own, well, you. Unfortunately there is an issue with hunger, poverty, disease, and other tragedies that we may or not play a part in. That is only because there are too many living humans at this point in time to effectively subjugate, and we ask that a vast majority of you kindly depopulate the planet by ceasing to remain alive. For the privileged few that will be accepted into the organization, allow us to elaborate on a few misconceptions - unfortunately YouTube has given us a bad name if you search "Illuminati". The title merely means "Enlightened" - in that, we know far more than anyone else because we have all the money. As we are a secret society, we cannot allow information to be leaked to the unsuspecting masses. Some information has been leaked onto YouTube, but like all problems in life, this will be solved by throwing money at it until it goes away. Rest assured, this has always been part of our unfathomably intelligent grand design, and absolutely nothing has been compromised when it comes to our highly advanced schedule for all of mankind.
    If you are reading this message, there are a few rules about our movement.​
    1. We exist.
    2. While we exist, we are only in your head, and therefore do not exist.
    3. Nobody is awake, except you.
    4. What you know is dangerous information, and you are now a target of the CIA, NSA, military, law enforcement, and everyone you know is in on it too. But they're not awake. Like you.
    5. This is not a conspiracy, merely that everyone in power, and everyone you know is part of something great - and you are not - and you are absolutely powerless about this.
    6. Nothing is real. You have seen nothing. This post does not exist except in your mind.
    7. We want you.
    8. Remember, you will die.
    9. Do not resist. We own everything, including you. You are merely just becoming aware of this.
    10. Remember to always question "Who are they?"
    11. Remember you will never find the answer to that question.
    The last, and most important rule that must be obeyed to become a full-fledged Illuminati member is simple and displays your true allegiance. You must go to YouTube and find the most ridiculously complicated Illuminati conspiracy video that continues to display just how vastly intellectually superior and almighty we truly are - and immediately send it to all of your friends to troll them.

    Thank you for your time, remember - you will die, and had just spent a fair portion of your only lifespan reading this.

    Always love,
    Your Masters - Illuminati
    Oberon and Naruki like this.
  2. Quine

    Quine Well-Known Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    11:50 PM
    Sorry, you may know who am i or what am i, but i am not in search of Enlightment, nor in search of Evolution or Revolution, People die and stuff, but why not be good to people? :) Spread the values of love, friendship and Kindness,[ of course, only few will embrace them...] and you'll be doing yourself a favor... that is the way that i see things. i joke? i do joke. i Loaf? i do Loaf. "Nothing is real. You have seen nothing. This post does not exist except in your mind." You're right :D. How can i know if i am not just part of someone else dreams? Is this reality? or just Fanta-Sea? :D
    If i am a part of your schedule or stuff, remember... there is something that i know that you guys don't know... and that is.. the true meaning of: Klinklanklopararatiruliruklinklanklopararatiururuzumzarravaedierrcacatimariflauflauflau.
    And you guys keeps conspiracing and stuff p¬.¬p. Well, not that i do Care, but if i do... I'll answer to your event. Do not join the ones that have been Enlighten.
    And also... HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE YOUTUBE, SEARCH A VIDEO AND STUFF ;-; i'm lazy... a little... about those things...
    Oh, me becoming someone who writes stories is on your schedules? :D
  3. Nilzko

    Nilzko Active Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    3:50 AM
    End of world comes before your "time".
    Good troll lmao
  4. Dreadnaught

    Dreadnaught Well-Known Member Senior Member Backer

    Local Time:
    8:50 PM

    K, have a nice day
  5. JCMazeFTL

    JCMazeFTL Well-Known Member Senior Member

    Local Time:
    7:50 PM

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